I mainly focus on an abstract style as my form of creating. I enjoy taking an everyday object or idea and turning it into my own version of reality. I work alot with abstract faces. Mainly because I believe that the way I see you, or someone else may see you, is not the way you see yourself. Everyone has their own vision and interpretation of a being or object. And I want the world to see mine, and be inspired to acknowledge their own through my work
Life itself motivates me to create. Everything around me is a creation that I want to feed off of. Everything inspires me because everything is inspired by something. I live off of art, because everything is art. It is a bountiful beautiful passionate world we live in and I want to contribute to its beauty.

TORN

I know i should move on.. it would be whats best for me.. and i had gotten over this whole issue before.. but i feel right back into loves hands about a month ago..
i was over it
i didnt care anymore
then all of the sudden my feelings came rushing back into my soul like a busted dam rushing into a river..
i miss the beauty of what was.. i miss that feeling of hope.. i dont have hope anymore.. i just have desire, and desire is never promising.. i wish it was because i would have what i wanted in an instant.. but i have to move on.. i cant keep holding on to a broken hope..
it does me no good to want something that i know i could never have
it could never be a secure thing... and i hate the idea of having security.. but not when it comes to love
im dying to let go..
im ready to let go
im crying out for an answer..
holding onto this red string of hope..
im ready to let it go
to grow
to move forward.
to become something without anyone
all on my own
i need anyone or anything except myself.. because i will never hurt myself like others could.. and have..
im ready to break free and LIVE.. live for me..
MYSELF
i dont care if its selfish..
screw the idea of being concerned about being selfish.. this is my life.. this is me, Stephanie Forbes..and im ready to be in love with myself. im ready to let go of everything else holding me back.. including the love of my life..
because i dont care anymore
i dont care about anyone besides myself..
i have love and compassion for other people... but i dont care to please them..
its time to make me happy with myself.

The sun and the moon are secret lovers.

secret lovers.
what a love hate idea
Its like the sun comes up and lives its life, then says hello to its lover the moon for a little while, then its the moons turn to come out and play. almost like the perfect relationship in my eyes. "let me live my life and ill spend a few beautiful cherishable moments with you" kinda thing. make sense? who needs to spend 24/7 with their lover? does that not get old? does the honeymoon ora of that not wear off? c'mon.
the build up of love and the build up of desire and the instant combustion of excitment in seeing one another is so beautiful. its such a profound feeling, why would you want to pass that up? i would love to feel like that constantly, the sun awaits the beautiful moment of passion in seeing its lover, the moon.. only for a few moments. but those few moments satisfy both the sun and the moons hunger to see each other.
i could say that im kind of high right now so im thinking more deeply than usual haha
but honestly.. why wouldnt you want to experience such a loving feeling. such a beautiful desire. ahh. theres something so simply peaceful about it.
it keeps a mystery going in a 'relationship'.. at least before one would ever decide to settle down.
im rambling.
but i like rambling.. because i just type out everything that instantly comes to my mind then i go back and read it to process it later.
im just saying.
the sun and moon are lovers, and theyve had the longest most successful relationship that i know of..
think about it.

I can accept we're going nowhere.

I dont even know where to start
You know what i love most about a blog? Youre putting yourself out there for the world to see and relate to, anyone who is anyone could find your blog and read all about your insights but hardly anyone will. and those who do probably dont even know you. I love that. I feel like im talking to everyone when really Im not talking to anyone. Such a good place to vent.

I am lost. I feel this pain, this most awkward indescribable pain. It is almost beautiful. I almost want to feel like this.
In the same breath, it is way to damn confusing. I desire the one thing i know i could never have. So if i had it would i still want it just as bad? i think so, but theres honestly no way for me to 100% clarify.
I love this feeling though.. everytime i get a taste of what i was missing on, it goes away and then im left with a satisfied spirit and a week later i want it back. in my arms.
you know how you can experience something over and over and theres this certain feeling in your stomach and scent in your nose and electricity in your soul that you recgnize with the experience. THIS IS JUST LIKE THAT.
everytime 'it' leaves me i feel the exact same LONGING. i love it because it lets me know i can still feel.
after all the BS ive been through, i can still FEEL
i can still desire.
i can still love.
it lets me know im alive. and it lets me know love.

I could hold you forever.

Its sad when you feel like you found something so beautiful and meaningful but you know you cant have it. Something you know you could commit yourself to, to be apart of.. Its not everyday you meet a human inspiration. but i know now more than ever that i will never be able to have this, that i long for. its clear. and im okay.
I am a fragile spirit.
I am a lost spirit.
I am a confused heart.
I am a numb soul.
I am a scared lover.
I am an emotionless being.
and emotionless being who experiences every emotion possible but cuts myself off from truly feeling them.
because i am a scared lover.
i am a wounded believer.
i have no idea what i want.
i desire passion.
i desire a lover.
I desire this lover.
but i know i will never have that lover.
Love is a strong word. but it should not be a word, it should be an emotion. it should be a state of mind. a passion.
not everyone deserves to love someone, but everyone deserves to be loved.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

-Genesis 1:1-3
Painting inspired by Gen 1:1-3

I want to know what love feels like. I have this idea of it in my head, this perception of what I want when it comes to love, but I want to actually obtain it. I feel like love is the most important thing in life, we are all meant to love each other, deeply.
This was my interpretation of the feeling of love. There's so many feelings that you become hazed and infuzed with craziness. But its a good kind of crazy, its the kind of crazy we are all meant to be exposed to at some point in our lifetime.

i.. well you see.. i.. i.. i lov..

You know that feeling of wanting to admit to someone that you love them? That feeling where you have so much to say but it all comes out as mush and craziness? I guess thats the beauty of being in love; not understanding your emotions but knowing that they are so real.
I can't wait to feel this way about someone.. To have a "Confession." A confession of love. I will remain patient, but I can't wait. But, true love does wait.
"Confession"

How clever you are, my dear! You never mean a single word you say.

Ever feel like you can't say what you FEEL?
The words on your heart cant escape your lips?
The words on my heart can't even escape my paintbrush.
Which is so weird.
People should only say what they
honestly mean though.
And most people just don't.

Dis one be named:
"Say what you mean, so remain silent."
Jan 1 2011.
DISCLAIMER:
just because i used this certain person's face
doesnt mean its about him.. at all.. haha i just needed a
guys face and this one was the easiest looking to paint.:)

Down With Love.

screw love dude.

I paint these to show how I want to feel about someone. someday. but I honestly don't ever see it happening. I'm such a simple complicated confusing person. I mean the only way I understand myself is through my art. It's my only escape into my reality. Everything else in this world has proven to me that it is fake. Everything. Everything has lied to me straight up in my FACE. ugh. This world is so amazing filled with so many amazing people who don't realize that they can be amazing. That they can be something other than liars. or cheaters. or beaters. I mean wake up. Humans are amazing.. So why can't they BE? be. be.

Therefore the paintings represent how I want to feel with someone. That someone will only ever live in my dreams. The man who can understand me and love me and hold me and be with me and show me beautiful and good times will only ever live in my dreams. Goodnight.