TORN

I know i should move on.. it would be whats best for me.. and i had gotten over this whole issue before.. but i feel right back into loves hands about a month ago..
i was over it
i didnt care anymore
then all of the sudden my feelings came rushing back into my soul like a busted dam rushing into a river..
i miss the beauty of what was.. i miss that feeling of hope.. i dont have hope anymore.. i just have desire, and desire is never promising.. i wish it was because i would have what i wanted in an instant.. but i have to move on.. i cant keep holding on to a broken hope..
it does me no good to want something that i know i could never have
it could never be a secure thing... and i hate the idea of having security.. but not when it comes to love
im dying to let go..
im ready to let go
im crying out for an answer..
holding onto this red string of hope..
im ready to let it go
to grow
to move forward.
to become something without anyone
all on my own
i need anyone or anything except myself.. because i will never hurt myself like others could.. and have..
im ready to break free and LIVE.. live for me..
MYSELF
i dont care if its selfish..
screw the idea of being concerned about being selfish.. this is my life.. this is me, Stephanie Forbes..and im ready to be in love with myself. im ready to let go of everything else holding me back.. including the love of my life..
because i dont care anymore
i dont care about anyone besides myself..
i have love and compassion for other people... but i dont care to please them..
its time to make me happy with myself.